::ANNA::

Success Story

A friend and I colleague of mine in the scrapbooking industry, Yvonne Busdeker, have been emailing back and forth over the past few weeks about NAETs.  Her son Dawson, age 10, has the same issues as Luke did only he's 7 years older.  His behaviour and violent tendencies at both school and home forced his parents to put him on some pretty heavy meds.  That was until last week:

"Just a brief update. Friday night at 7pm central time I shut off the 
medicine timer for the last time. The meds bottle was empty as the 
last one had been taken on Thursday evening.  5 years ago I never 
thought I'd hear the end of the timer that goes off each evening as 
our reminder.

The weekend went great. Today is Dawson's first day at school with 
no medicine so I'm praying for him to make it through the day good.   
I'm sure he'll do fine just as he continues to do very well at home. 
I've not been yelled at by him in almost 2 weeks now since the sugar 
clearing.  11 more clearings to go!"

and then:

"And his day at school went great."

Thanks Yvonne for sharing...It's so awesome to see NAETs working for Dawson as it has for us, and reminds me of how lucky we have been to make these discoveries so early on in Luke's life.  Luke could so easily have been Dawson or any of the many thousands of kids diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, ODD etc...  It's good to know that there is hope.

Heading Out

Busy day working some and packing...Getting ready for our mini trip to Denver.

Couple of Autism articles to share.  The latter one coincides nicely with NAETs, and from our experience, can also be the case in ADHD behaviour.

Mitochondrial Dysfunction, Vaccines And Autism: Are 1 in 50 Children at Risk?

How Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy's Son Recovered From Autism

Will be back Monday hopefully having found a house.

Wish us luck!

Calm

Friday already...Usually at this point I'd say I've been working on some important deadline or doing something that seems to have taken up all my time.   The truth is I haven't.  For sure, I have been busy, but not manic, running at 100mph as I used to.  I'm not feeling the need to rush from one thing to the next these days, work every waking hour, lurch from one activity to the next with undying velocity or even update my blog on a daily basis.  I'm enjoying a slower pace, reading a book just because, scrapbooking for fun again and just spending with myself and my family.  The rewards have been a marked resurgence in my creativity, energy and the big one: Happiness.

So why the change?  I think the NAETs is a big part of the difference.  If you had asked me a year ago that I would be travelling this path I would have thought you insane.  I never thought I'd be completely grug free ever again.  Last night I spent some time organizing the Aspergers Syndrome and NAETs/Diet posts into categories for easier reference.  (I'm sure I've missed some so I'll revisit this at some point)  As I read back a year ago, I was amazed at just how far we've come.  It's amazing how you quickly your perceptions change and you forget.  NAETs has truly been a life altering experience for us as a family and I can't begin to put a value on our new quality of life.

As you know I finished my course of NAETs a few weeks ago.  Ella and Luke will finish theirs tomorrow.  It's hard to believe that this day is finally here. There's a good chance a few more allergies may crop up, like it did for me this past week, but for the most part these allergy clearings are permanent.  I have been assured that the only way they may come back is if the body undergoes a very traumatic physical or emotional experience, and even then they would not return to the same severity.  So a few more observations to share:

1.  My immune system is stronger.  Usually when I start back at the gym I get a cold, but it's been 2 weeks now of working out hard 5 days per week and feeling awesome.

2.  You never quite know how severe your allergy is until you go through the clearing.  As you know Luke had 20 plus clearings to get through.  We did the big ones first but it's actually been the smaller ones that have had been the hardest for him.  I would never have guessed he had a nut allergy but when he went through the clearing he became so irritable that he refused to be touched.  The 25 hours after were also difficult due to his volatile behaviour.  Similarly, the chocolate/caffeine clearing that we thought would be a walk in the park, had Luke so hyper he was jumping on our practitioners table as if it were a trampoline and then proceeded to lash out at her physically.

3.  Ella is so much more energetic now.  Teacher parent conferences were last week and she received glowing reports.  She's made a giant leap forwards socially, academically and in her gross motor skills.  This is a little girl who has always struggled in the latter but she's making up for lost time.  The speech therapist also confirmed she has caught up on her speech.  She has a particularly hard time with the Candida clearing which totally makes sense as she has always been prone to yeast infections.  None as yet.

4.  Eric has just bought the new Air Force uniform and since wearing it he's had crazy itching on his arms.  We've determined through NAETs that the new uniform is causing an allergic reaction.  The fabric is chemically treated so that they can be pulled out of the dryer and worn without any ironing or starching.  Eric had a clearing today for his uniforms so I'll let you know.  Makes me wonder how many other poor personnel are itching like crazy.

5.  Another cool little detail.  Ella has had a virus this week.  We've also had a resurgence of bedwetting just this week and Pat, our NAET practitioner, was able to muscle test and not only tell us that she was suffering from a virus but that it is affecting her kidneys and bladder.  Really cool stuff.  I will definitely be finding a  naturpath when we move to Denver.

I have also been undergoing EMDR therapy for the past month.  It's not something I have taked about until now partly because I was very skeptical about the process and almost didn't go through with it, but also because it's been an emotional process dealing with some of the difficult events that took place during my childhood.  I was finally given a diagnosis yesterday of "complex trauma".  A sequence of difficult events in my childhood combined with my sensitivity caused my brain to overload and basically malfunction leaving my completely hyper and OCD over the past 20 odd years.  My therapist has confirmed that the eating disorders I experienced became a coping mechanism for me and so finally I'm getting some long sought after answers. The vivid details are now fading and those memories that troubled me so much don't seem to matter anymore.  I am calmer, more laid back and definitely less OCD.  Very happy to say farewell to some of these, unitl now, deeply embedded memories. 

So, this is what it must be like to be normal, to find peace and be happy and it's a bonus that it's all drug free.

   

Supplies: Background paper is from my new Fruehling Paperie (coming to the store on Sunday), Label Me Sane BrushSet, Old Film Frames no. 1, Naked Tape Elements, brush strokes from Magnificent PageSet, Dripped Stains No. 1 BrushSet, Staples from Kenai Winter PageSet, Ledger Super Pack by Katie Pertiet. Fonts are CK Ali, AL Uncle Charles, Maldita, 3 grammes 5, Mesquite Std, 4990810, Report 1942, 

Right Now

Life revolves around appointments, namely NAETs, work and some family time inbetween.

We are "moving" along in the NAETs department, not as fast as I would like but there is a limit to what I can ask of Luke each week.  He's getting a little weary of the appointments, and the consequent limited diet, but he's really surprised me with his level of co-operation.  We're ticking off 3 per week for Luke and 2 for Ella in the hope they'll finish up about the same time, hopefully in the next month.

We're currently in the process of minerals, one of the most dreaded clearings that Luke is going to have to do, mainly because he cannot touch any metal.  Needless to say, it's presented a few difficulties but nothing major.  Luke has been quite happy confined to the couch playing Star Wars on the Xbox.

Corn and Lead were both rough on him last week and caused a few sleepless nights.  He just didn't feel good.  We also noticed he was particularly volatile during the corn treatment.

Ella seems to take it in her stride but then that is her nature.  She's been a bit perturbed lately having to give up her favorite foods for Luke's clearings, but it's just easier all around if we all eat the same.  It seems to be the fairest option.

My gluten and dairy allergies have cleared up and I was amazed to discover in that process that I am allergic to dates.  Totally off the wall and would never have expected that!  It's not like I eat a lot of dates but you know...they show up once in a while...  Eric who found himself in the bathroom 5 minutes after eating soy is now able to enjoy some japanese and chinese food once in a while..

On the work front, I'm finishing up some assignment stuff for Digital Scrapbooking.  I'm looking forward to getting this next lot of deadlines out the way so I can focus on E & L who are on Spring Break this coming week.  A few things planned including a trip to the mall, seeing some friends and swimming.  If it weren't for these looming deadlines I think I'd be feeling like I was on vacation.

The Flip arrived yesterday so now thinking about my first little movie :)   

NAETs Update

We are back into clearing mode....

Luke has 17 yet to go, Ella has 8, I believe, and I have 3....

I would really like to get through them all by the time we leave so the pressure is on.

So going back a bit...

You may remember I had about 5 clearings in succession the week before we left for Florida?

What a nightmare that was.  I arrived in Florida a complete mess.  Granted I had a lot on my mind, but I definitely underestimated the power the of clearings.

Observations so far:

• We are all DEFINITELY a LOT calmer.  I'm less irritable, more relaxed, less volatile and more able to keep my cool.  Luke's daycare provider has noticed he is less violent towards his peers and more likely to use his words in conflicting situations (unless he's being a Jedi Knight as shown below).

• We are no longer sugar junkies.  It used to be a rarity for me to walk out of Starbucks without something sweet to go with my coffee.  No I don't give that baked goods counter a second thought.  The children say no to dessert, rarely ask for candy anymore and Luke now requests water over juice from time to time. 
• Subsequent clearings have been a breeze.  I had to repeat the sugarless diet for my Candida clearing and it was not even a hardship this time around.  The children also breezed through their 2 clearings this week.

• In Florida,  I was still having stomach issues with dairy and gluten.  I've had another couple of clearings then.  The situation has improved but there is more there to figure out.
• Ella is not sleeping as long since her iron clearing (Up to 12 hours instead of her old 14 hours plus +), is easier to wake in the morning.  The dark circles under her eyes have improved.  Academically, she has come on in leaps and bounds.  We have been trying to get her to count to 20 for months, and in a few days she is not only able to count to 100 but is also able to write her numbers.  She is also now a little sassy!  It's almost as if her brain has woken up.  She questioning us for the first time which could be a bad thing depending on how you look at it :)

Impressed at the results so far.  A little daunted by the weeks ahead as the clearings are hard work and require good preparation and organization.  That said, I'm excited to reach the end of this road and hopefully see more results.

Stressful Week

Deadlines, clearings and getting ready to fly to Florida tomorrow.

I take on way too much all the time.  More than I can often handle.  I know that.  It's what I do.  You'd think I would learn but I don't. 

So along with getting through a mountain of work, I took on 4 clearings.  So I've now checked off and passed Dairy/Calcium, Chicken & Eggs, Salt, and will have to await the results of the Gluten & Grains one from today.  Looking forward to taking a little break as my body sets into it's new patterns.  It's been really tiring and taken a toll that I didn't expect.  Looking forward to just seeing now if there really is a difference.

Ella and Luke did the sugar clearing on Wednesday.  It's a tough one that limits you to meat, vegetables eggs and water only for 25 hours.  I was feeling under the weather from my Calcium Mix clearing so it didn't help when Luke started throwing up on Thursday morning, and proceeded to do so several times that morning.  It blew my mind that cutting sugar from his diet would have that kind of effect on him.  He was literally like a junkie going cold turkey.

Ella did awesome and passed her clearing today.  Unfortunately, t Luke wasn't going to be stopped from getting into the cookie jar on Thursday.  He did not pass and is doing the same clearing today.  Not fun for him or the rest of us.  Fortunately Eric is doing the same one as him.  Ella is doing her Iron Mix tonight and tomorrow.  So lots of really healthy eating going on around here, and lots of this.

That's me in my white gloves purchased especially to prepare foods for the children that I am clearing and can't touch.

Have to share this fun photo of Ella making fun hats tonight..

Other than that, I'm trying to get organized to get out of here...Just in time too as temps plummet to subzero.

More Naets +

So yesterday.  I took Luke for his allergy testing.  He led the vials and by placing my arm on his body Pat was able to muscle test him through me.  Very weird but kind of cool.

The long and short of it is that he has LOTS of allergies.  No surprises there.  It's no wonder he's a basket case. His exposure to allergens likely weakens the immune system and causes the his brain to overproduce neaurotransmitters, it's chemical messengers, which make the brain go faster, sleep less and freak out more often and at a greater magnitutde.  His body is so busy fighting all the allergens he's totally overstimulated and overwhelmed by all the normal signals around him (I just learned this from an article written by Cathrine Guthrie, Alternative Medicine, January 2008).  Awesome article!

So he had his Mercury and Lead clearing yesterday, which meant no tap water for him (either ingested or to touch for 25 hours).  Only another 19 to go for him.  I did the sugar one, and boy did it make me GRUMPY!  It was steak, chicken, vegetables and eggs only for 25 hours.  Needless to say I enjoyed my spag bol tonight.  Juries out at the moment as to whether it works.  I have clearings Wednesday through Saturday and so we'll see as I knock them out.

Big day tomorrow for the Aspnes house.  It's the day Daddy goes in for surgery putting an end to any more babies in our house.  As Luke was joyfully singing this evening, "Daddy go nip nip".  We had a good laugh at that one.  We're ready.

 

The Diet Revisited

We sort of wavered from it a bit while in Hawaii.  We really had no choice, and there began the downward spiral.  We got sick over Christmas and we've continued to notice the difference in adding some gluten and dairy back in our diets.  I've decided to look in this further to find out what we're allergic to and hopefully clear ourselves from the food intolerance's that we have.  I can't help but wonder if allergies could be a huge contributing factor to the increase in autism and ADHD.

Allie, a good friend of mine, put me in touch with NAETs, an allergy elimination technique combining Eastern and Western medicine.  I had my first appointment yesterday.  I was definitely skeptical, and still am to a certain extent (The proof is in the pudding right?), but I was AMAZED at the process.

So a bit of background. 

What is an allergy? 

Western medicine defines it as an over-reaction to a substance by the immune system.  In Oriental medicine, allergens are seen as a threat to the body's well-being by the brain.  It blocks the energy flow through the body and interferes in the communication between the brain and body via the nervous system.

How do you test for allergies?

While Western medicine has more invasive procedures, NAETs involves the patient holding vials that have been "charged" by a specialized computer to simulate the same electromagnetic frequency as the allergen.  While holding the vials in turn in one hand I held out my arm which a moderate amount of resistance.  If I could not resist the practitioner pushing down my arm, that signified a weakness and presence of an intolerance to an allergen.  The results of this type of muscle testing had been compared over the years to traditional methods with identical results

What is NAETs?

In the late 1980's, Dr Devi Nambudripad's knowledge of Eastern and Western medicine (she is a nurse, chiropractor and acupuncturist) helped discover the Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Technique which is a drugless, painless non-evasive technique to permanently eliminate allergies.  The technique can be used safely on an infant of one day old to anyone of older age.

After the initial testing has been completed, found allergens are cleared at one at a time.  The treatment takes place with the patient holding the offending vial, then the nerve roots at the specific acupuncture points are stimulated.  This energizes the meridians, creating the free flow energy.  After a short period of rest and observation the patient is rechecked to assure the body is accepting the clearing process.  I had to raise my arm again and resist the practitioners attempt to push my arm down, this time with success.  The patient is then allowed to leave but must avoid all contact with the treated allergen for 25 hours.  Biomagnetic energy flow is governed by the biological time clock and it takes 25 hours for the newly programmed energy to be exposed to the 12 meridians.

Fascinating stuff.  So apparently I'm allergic to the following, some of which matched what I already knew but there were also a few surprises.  The big ones are sugar, dairy, gluten, eggs and chicken.  It's going to take a while to get through the clearings because I'll be in Florida and then California for CHA Winter, but I should be done by mid March.  I'm excited to see if there is any change.  For me it's worth trying it..

 

Luke is sick again...Poor guy.  I have an appointment for him next Wednesday, and am excited to see if this process can do anything to help him.

Will keep you posted.

Random Stuff

• Eric worked nights from Friday through Saturday and slept during the day so the name of the game was to keep E & L busy-busy!
• Missed Ronalyn's belated birthday becuase Eric was working but I didn't let it spoil my weekend.
• We did a little experiment last week, on Thursday, by re-introducing a little gluten back into all our diets.  BIG mistake!  I felt liike I had trains coming through my head, Eric's stomach was upset and Luke?  Well, if I wasn't convinced about this diet before, I am now.  Luke has not slept later than 5am since.  The day prior to yesterday it was 4.30am and then yesterday an all time record of 3.30am. His appetite hasn't been great either so hoping....fingers crossed...this soon passes.  Needless to say no more experiments...
• BTW....Does anyone have a GOOD GF bread recipe?
• Saturday, we went to the base bazaar and re-acquainted ourselves with an old friend.  I hadn't seen her in about 2 years.  I am usually at Memory trends when the bazaar is happening here. It was a bonus that we were early and I got first choice on her stuff.  She visits garage sales all summer long and then paints the pieces with flowers!  Stunning stuff and I managed to replace some of Ella's old furniture.
• Nabbed Ella's old dresser for myself and brought it downstairs for all my scrapbook paper.  Re-organized everything as I'm getting into serious scrapping mode for the remainder of the year.   I made a goal in January to get all my old photos scrapped, and I am soooo close. 
• On Sunday, I finished up my England 2000 album which covers a tri we took 7 years ago.  Eric and I were supposed to be going to my sister's graduation.  She ended up breaking her leg quite badly so graduated the following year instead. You know what that means?  England 2001 coming soon!  You can see the album here.
• Ironically, Sarah is on my mind right now.  She's heading to Afghanistan for 7 months on Wednesday.  Keeping her in our thoughts and hope she stays safe.  Last week she told me that her "comfy box" containing all her bedding and winter warm uniform was hit by a mortar.  The mortar story was true but it later transpired that her box was not one of those hit.  It was a joke and one she took well, but I get the impression revenge will be sweet :)
• The snow didn't quite make it as planned, so I washed my windows.  We Europeans do that, even in Winter ;)  Raked up leaves and generally just cleaned up the yard  The snow is certainly creeping down the mountains though, so it won't be long....
• I've been resisting decorating the yard for the past few Halloweens but this year I had two of them on at me.  The time haas come...  We headed to Joann's to see what they had left and it was at this point I also thought it might be a good idea to drop into Costcos.  Grabbed a few chickens and broccoli salad , which are staples for us, and realized I couldn't remember any of my pin numbers.  That's what a couple of weeks away does to me.  Throws me right off.  I am a nightmare for sure!
• Hung out with my good friend Allie on Sunday afternoon.  She has 4 children with Aspergers and if it wasn't for her....  I don't know what I would have done without her over the past few months.  Special and appreciated doesn't even come close. 
• Reconnected with another of my GOOD friends.  We've both been busy in our own lives this summer and I'm just hoping we can re-kindle the friendship we had.  I have missed her.  Good friends are hard to come by, especially when you're always moving, and I'm hoping that the military doesn't take this one away from me like it has many others.
• Caught this on the CBS Early Show this morning.  A great tool for identifying Autism in children as early as 12 months.  Most aren't diagnosed until they are 3 years, and in the case of Aspergers, which is milder and therefore harder to identify, children can be much older.  Case in point:  Ella. They don't know much about Autism but what they do know is that early intervention is the key to a children having the greatest chance of a normal life.  Good stuff to know.  I've had quite a few emails since Ella and Luke's diagnosis from those who are 10 years or so down the road from me and also those who are in that "wondering" stage.  Some of this stuff is definitely familiar to me in hindsight. 
• Luke started pre-school.  Not a kiss.  Not a goodbye.  He was happy to see me pick him up at 5pm though.  He did really well saying he was up so early.  When asked if he was coming back tomorrow, he said YES!
• "YES"!  That's my word for this weekend.  We made it thorough.  Mids weekends are rough, but we did it.  Everything finally seems to be coming together, and to that I am saying "YES!" 
• It's about flippin' time!

Milestones

It was a big day for us all yesterday as Ella had her first day at Kindergarten.  It was a great start to the morning and it helped that there were no tearful goodbyes from any of the other children in the class. 

Strike a pose!  Note Luke with his own little pack lunch, that he insisted on by the way, and is still asking me when he can go to "Baby Scoo"

Ella keen to hand me her backpack.  "It's too heavy Mommy".

Ella sees Sariah (our next door neighbour) and takes the lead.

Ella standing in line with the picture she decided she wanted to draw for her new teacher.

I picked her up at 3.45pm.   When I asked if she had had a good day, she gave a brief answer, "yes".  Ella is not usually one to elaborate on details, so I didn't think anything of it, but pursued for more information.  She then announced she had tummy ache and was hungry.  On reaching the car, I opened her lunch bag I was surprised to find she had barely touched her lunch, eating only a few vegetables.  At first, when asked why she hadn't eaten her lunch, she told me she was full, but she is usually a good eater.  She hadn't eaten much of her breakfast either so she should have devoured her lunch.  It took some probing and a lot of patience, but it appears she didn't have time to eat her lunch.  She said all the kids had finished and were packing up to go to the park.  So she did too.

Information often comes in broken pieces over a period of time requiring some piecing together.  She later said that she didn't actually play at lunch because she said her tummy hurt too much. I've recently discovered that it all amounts to her short attention span to certain tasks and her being easily distracted.  It's a constant process at home to remind her repeatedly to get on with the task in hand, and I am assuming  the lunch room filling up with more and more children simply distracted her.  She won't say anything because she likes to please and does not want to upset anyone.  Fingers crossed for today now that her teacher has been notified.

Over dinner she demonstrated some of the sounds of letters in the alphabet and told us that she had sang 2 songs.  She had made one friend, a girl, but didn't know her name, because she didn't say.  She didn't think to ask the little girl what her name was, but was more focused on the fact that she had told her what her name was.

She played with Luke really well after dinner.  This is another change we've seen since we've been in this new diet, that and he is consistently sleeping 12 hours at night.  Can I hear a "Woohoo!"

At bedtime, she wanted me to read her story, not Daddy.  Which is not unusual for her.  This is typically Mommy-Ella time when we talk and she will often tell me her secrets.  Instead I found her in bed crying saying she didn't like school and didn't want to go anymore.  Again it took some probing, but it finally transpired that she does not like her music teacher.  He's a man to begin with and she's always feared men.  I was the same as a child.  Apparently, he pretended to be a monster, and because she has an over-active imagination, she was very scared but not able to tell anyone.  At first she didn't want me to say anything because, "It is a secret from her music teacher". I was eventually able to persuade her otherwise.

She was very intent on telling me that she paid attention and did everything she was told.  She loves her story time before bed but couldn't help interrupting every so often with rules that she had learned throughout the day, or telling me about the little boy who had to stand in the corner for throwing a "rock" at her teacher.

Again this morning, she was adamant about not going to school but I promised to take her into school and tell her teacher for her that she is scared.  She later agreed on going on her "big yellow bus" as long as I sent an email to her teacher.

 

I

ncidentally, Luke also thinks he's getting on the bus, hence the backpack.

Notice Ella let's her friend Jackie go first, just to make sure she's not left on the bus on her own.

So....So far so good...

Phew!

Luke and I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, so that he could play with the Thomas trains and I was in search of some gluten-free/casein free cookbooks.  I came away with this one which not only has some good basic and quick recipes but also gives some great explanations as to why this diet is working so well for us so far.

In brief:

Food allergies and food sensitivities are completely different.  The former result in immediate physical reactions where the latter result in a much broader array of symptoms, including behavioral, change in mood or development symptoms, which can take from 1-3 days to appear.

Symptoms of food sensitivities can include: Fatigue, food cravings (people crave the very foods that are causing the bad reaction), Eczema, dark circles under the eyes, stomach aches, loose stools/constipation or alternating states between the two, congestion, abnormal pulse or high blood pressure, headaches, ringing in the ears, dizziness from standing up too quickly, ADHD symptoms (decreased attention span, hyperactivity, impulsivity), irritability, mood swings, anxiety and autism symptoms (poor eye contact, social withdrawal, decreased language, obsessions and repetitive behaviours).

Normally food is digested in the small intestine where they are broken down in various stages to small molecules.  Along with nutrients these are allowed to pass through the intestinal wall (absorbed) into the bloodstream where they go to various organs in the body, including the brain  The lining has to be a good barrier to prevent the food being absorbed before it has been fully digested.

Many children with ADHD and autism have what's called a "leaky" gut, basically microscopic holes in the intestinal wall which allow larger, potentially harmful molecules to pass through the blood-brain barrier.  These children also have trouble breaking down proteins which consist of many chains of amino acids which are not useful, and can do harm to the body, if not fully broken down before they are absorbed.  Normally they are broken down to their smallest state, pass through the intestinal lining, and then are reconstituted by the body to create the "building blocks" of our bodies.

People with a "leaky" gut can end up having short chains of amino acids called peptides being absorbed into the blood.  These peptides can give signals to the brain which should not normally occur and basically create a short circuit, which creates the behaviours and developmental delays in children with ADHD and Autism.

In addition, these peptides can also have an opiate-like effect on the brain, rather like morphine, which is why people with these disorders crave the very foods that are making them sick.  Casein, Gluten and Soy are the biggest offenders, with Corn closely following behind.  Opiate-like peptides have been shown to react with areas of the brain that are involved in speech and auditory processing.

Make's sense, right?

Thanks to all those who have emailed with great information, tips and ideas as I venture through this maze and try to figure it all out.  I am truly amazed at just how many people are experiencing the same symptoms and issues.  It's actually quite alarming.

Read this.

OK, off to take Luke to the park :)  He misses Ella.